Old Myspace Post

Saturday, December 29, 2007 11:21 PM

What is love...baby don’t hurt me...
Current mood: blessed

I am guessing I just learned one of the most important lessons in my life. It is weird to think I have gone through so much, and I missed something so very simple. I didn't figure out the secret to life or anything of that nature. I did, however, figure out how to love someone. I have said on many occasions that I love people unconditionally, and that is very true. I just had no idea how, it seems. It doesn't seem to make a lot of sense when I try to write it down, and I do feel it is important to write this particular thought down. Let me use some examples, and perhaps I can piece it together for myself in some words I will not forget.



Love means many different things to everyone in this universe. Before this week, for me it was a stereotypical idea of love. You love someone, you tell them, you smile with them, you cry with them, you cuddle, you share, you have sex, you get that warm fuzzy feeling…insert other clichés of love here. All of those things are, in fact, a part of love. They are not love in its entirety. To be quite honest, you can do all of those things and many others, and not be expressing the kind of love I intend to mean when I say love. You can love someone selfishly, as I have, and for a long while it will seem to everyone that you are loving them correctly. Now, on a side note, just because I expressed love in a selfish, cliché fashion does not minimize the love I feel for them. It is only a sad truth that I didn't realize what I was doing until now. Too little too late I suppose. I won't go in to all that. It is a whole other story entirely, and, while related, not the point at hand.



I have discovered that what I always meant to do, and never quite pulled off.



When you love someone to the fullest extent you can love someone; you want what is best for them. Period. No if. No but. No questions. You simply love them, and support their needs and decisions. When they ask you for something they truly need, if you can provide it with no serious injury to your person you should allow them what they need. No words say it quite right for me. I guess what I am trying to say is….I should have listened.



I should have listened, and respected. I was always listened to and respected…I'm not sure what was going through my head. Maybe this all was just a hard lesson I had to learn. I could go into this huge list of times and instances in which I should have done something and did not. The fact of the matter is this…I was wrong. I always was wrong.



Love is something to be cherished, and coddled. You cannot let your emotions run rampant in the streets of your heart and mind. You must hold it and control it. Love is putting someone before yourself. Doing what is best for them even if it isn't what you want or imagined. Sometimes love is giving in. Sometimes love is letting go. Sometimes love is worth the pain you might temporarily feel to make it last forever when you stay quiet over something large or small. Love is always.



Just because things are different, and just because love changes doesn't mean it dies. What two people share in happiness lives on long after they are no longer able to provide that gift to the world together. It resonates through time.



"Buildings burn, people die, but true love lasts forever."



I have one last selfish gift for myself when it comes to matters of love. It is a promise. A promise to myself and no one else. A promise to love completely, and truly, and unconditionally. A promise to always listen, grow, provide support, not stumble and sweat over the small things, to understand, and to place their needs on an appropriate priority level.



I love you.