Old Myspace Post

Tuesday, July 25, 2006 2:36 PM

I hate you so much right now
Current mood: melancholy
I have a secret for you.
I'm confident your lips will never form the words to reveal it.
If my luck holds out, we share the same secret.

I have a sin for you.
I'm confident you will never form a negative judgement.
If my luck holds out, you will continue to revel in this sweet sin as well.

I have a gift for you.
I'm confident you would open it with much pleasure.
If my luck holds out, you will hold onto your gift.

I have a surprise for you.
I'm confident you would appreciate it.
If my luck holds out, you will want it and not break it.

I have a realization for myself.
I'm not confident that I feel very lucky.
_______________________________________________

I promise I can't stand it.
All these emotions, flying , rampaging.
I can no longer control any of them.
It is beyond my ability to continue pretending that you don't cause all of this.
You are definitely the one responsible for this awkward feeling.
It's not a bad awkward.
It's similiar to the strangeness when you are intimate with someone for the first time.
Somehow you make it okay to be myself, and in the same moment make me crawl inside my own skin.
You cause me to remember things I had long forgotten.
Feelings surface that I was confident I had safely hidden away.
I'm never sure if I should hate you or thank you.
I swear I despise the way you make me smile.
I dislike the adorable things you say.
I hate how unique and amazing you are.
I loathe you completely and totally.
I'm definitely not even successfully lying to myself, much less anyone else.
______________________________________________________

The rain attacks my roof shingles relentlessly.
Sitting here in this window seat, I realise how its been so long that I've forgotten.
I lie my head against the glass, its warm-not chilled as expected.
I do enjoy the windows tears much more than my own.
Thoughts run through my mind much more quickly than the water can pass down the pane.
You know exactly what I'm thinking, don't you?
My thoughts and emotions are much more transparent than the water or the glass.
The blackened sky coats the stars and blankets our world.
Almost as though the charred clouds intend to keep the earth safe.
I'm so envious.
I want nothing more than to be engulfed in your arms.
Sinking into safety.
The light flashing across the sky, reflecting and bouncing, is almost erotic.
It reminds me of the passionate lighning you can find in some people's eyes.
The crashing startles my thought process momentarily.
It's raining on this hot, sticky night in the desert.
I'm watching through my window, and ofcourse thinking of you.
The coming of the storm brings the promise of change-good or ill.
_____________________________________________________



1 Comment
Knightmares
WOW ^ - - ^ very nice wrighting, some of it made me stop and thing too

Posted by Knightmares on Tuesday, July 25, 2006 - 4:12 PM