I have decided I have no clue what to do with the rest of my life. I suppose I always thought I'd just figure it out. As if I'd have some sort of epiphany one day, and my life would be set on its proper course. In 26 years, this has yet to happen. There are various reasons as to why this possibly has not happened for me up until now, but the major one I believe is that this doesn't happen to anyone.
Oh sure, some people graduate and head straight for some life course. I'm not knocking them - in fact, good for you guys, but what about those of us that choose not to do what our parents told us must be done? It isn't a rebellious thing that we don't immediately continue our education or drive the course preplanned for us by our loved ones. I suppose I just thought there was something better for me, but I neglected that fact that I had no idea how to get it.
I feel as though there are some major flaws and setbacks in the idea of picking a life for myself. I don't want someone telling me what to do with the rest of my life or how I should go about figuring out what to do with it. Now, this statement certainly does sound like rebellion I must admit; however, it has very little to do with rebellion and everything to do with negative pressure. It makes me feel very criticized and lowly when others assume they know what is best for me.
I grew up quickly and roughly in "the school of hard knocks" that most others haven't quite experienced. For the most part, I have done the best I could on my own (that isn't to say I hadn't had help, but for the most part I've taken care of myself ever since I was a young teenager). By the time I was 17, I had traversed life experiences that most only expect an adult of almost mid-life to have dealt with and received such veteran knowledge of. By the time I was 23, I had experienced things that surpass mid-life for the majority. I think the biggest disservice of the whole ordeal is that it has made me long to stay young. My attitude and personality absolutely refuse to grow older as the rest of me seems to be doing with no regard to the fact that I keep telling it to stop.
Ultimately, I have some huge life choices to make; and I have no idea where to begin.
It would seem that everything that makes me happy won't make me very much money, if any at all. Everything I could do well that would make money probably will not make me happy. I can't seem to find the sweet spot of the Venn Diagram of life. Maybe there isn't one.
I know several things that I can do quite well that would make a decent living, but at what cost? I sometimes don't like the person I am, or become, when I do these things.
I know several things that I'd love to do that are creative and risky, but what about money?
I sometimes don't have enough confidence in these areas, and therefore find it hard to believe I could make a living doing them.
Responsible, safe, and comfortable.
Happy, unstable, and poor.
Which path to wander?
Friday, July 2, 2010
Thursday, June 17, 2010
Children...or the lack therof....
I am 27 years old. I have found that I have beat my biological clock into submission, at least temporarily. When I was 18, I became pregnant and moved to Arizona with my then boyfriend (now husband of 6 years). I was dead set on having this baby and starting a family with him. After much turmoil, it all ended in a miscarriage. A few years later when I was 22, I found myself pregnant again. This time I made the choice to terminate because of the circumstances occurring in my life. Now, as I said, I'm 27 and have found that I am in no hurry to bring children into a world of conflict filled with troubles, disease, and poverty. I'm also too selfish at this point in life, and I am just enjoying the thought of experiencing a hundred different things with my husband before devoting our lives to a young child. I've also decided that I'd really love to adopt and/or foster many children once we have settled down and have the means. I suppose I needed to explain that before I make the following comments. Perhaps it will help others visualize where I am coming from when I say..........Using children to get ahead in life, in any way whatsoever, is BULLSHIT! (Thanks Penn & Teller ... by the way Mr. Penn and Mr. Teller...you should consider this for an episode.)
It has become apparent to me in life that I am denied many simple rights, and luxuries, in life because I have decided to put off having children. Now, I mean no disrespect to mothers or fathers. They definitely do have one of the hardest jobs known to man. However, I don't think that something that is so basic and primal and necessary in life - like procreation - should come with so many social and financial perks. Shouldn't people be having children because they desire them, can afford them, are responsible, and prepared to devote all of themselves to nurture these small beings? It has become obvious to me that this isn't necessarily the case. I'd like to cite some examples:
1. In Arizona, if your household income is the same as mine you are not impoverished - despite the fact that you can't afford anything. If you make almost one thousand dollars more per month than myself and have a child, then you are extensively impoverished.
2. In Arizona, if you are pregnant or have a child and are impoverished by definition of the state, you easily receive state benefits such as food stamps, cash assistance, health care, and WIC.
Despite being poor and unemployed, I am not available for any of these benefits unless I bring a child into an already poor household.
3. In Arizona, if you wreck your car and smell of beer and cry to the cop about being a single mother, you get a 75 dollar speeding ticket. Despite also crying and explaining why this could ruin my life, when I was pulled over for a minor traffic violation involving the registration sticker when the officer smelled alcohol I was given a felony dui despite not blowing twice the legal limit.
4. Anywhere in the USA, once you reach the age that all of your friends have children, whether they were ready for them or not, you will be asked at least once a week by someone when you are going to have children. The women with children are praised for the cutesy, inane things their children do.
5. In Arizona, you get the good spot on the bus. People without small children are asked to stand when seats run low.
6. When I go out and party have fun with my friends, I am not growing up fast enough, not setting my priorities straight, or not preparing for my future. When a mother goes out for cocktails with her girlfriends, she deserves a day away from the kids.
I am sure there are a million others, but I am getting to heated about the whole ordeal to continue. Basically, what is so special about having a child that makes you far superior to everyday folk? You deserve respect and have a hard job. You aren't a god damn rock star. I could squeeze a life form out of my vagina without thinking about the consequences as well, it doesn't make me special - it just means I have female anatomy.
I feel like there is some prejudice against women who want to enjoy being women (girls?) for a while longer.
I will leave you with some things Patton Oswalt said (paraphrased of course):
"All of my friends are either having babies or getting sober. They are equally annoying....."
"What about people like me that have learned to control their drinking and aren't polluting the planet with kids? Don't I get something?"
" All these people are like 'I decided to get sober', and everyone is like 'hey, let's give you a parade'. These other people are like 'I decided to squirt out a baby', everyone is like 'hey, let's burn your name on the surface of the Moon'. I learned how to stop at two scotches and I don't have any miniature versions of myself ruining the planet and everyone is like 'eh, whatever'. WHAT, WHAT, I'm ten times better than both those guys."
It has become apparent to me in life that I am denied many simple rights, and luxuries, in life because I have decided to put off having children. Now, I mean no disrespect to mothers or fathers. They definitely do have one of the hardest jobs known to man. However, I don't think that something that is so basic and primal and necessary in life - like procreation - should come with so many social and financial perks. Shouldn't people be having children because they desire them, can afford them, are responsible, and prepared to devote all of themselves to nurture these small beings? It has become obvious to me that this isn't necessarily the case. I'd like to cite some examples:
1. In Arizona, if your household income is the same as mine you are not impoverished - despite the fact that you can't afford anything. If you make almost one thousand dollars more per month than myself and have a child, then you are extensively impoverished.
2. In Arizona, if you are pregnant or have a child and are impoverished by definition of the state, you easily receive state benefits such as food stamps, cash assistance, health care, and WIC.
Despite being poor and unemployed, I am not available for any of these benefits unless I bring a child into an already poor household.
3. In Arizona, if you wreck your car and smell of beer and cry to the cop about being a single mother, you get a 75 dollar speeding ticket. Despite also crying and explaining why this could ruin my life, when I was pulled over for a minor traffic violation involving the registration sticker when the officer smelled alcohol I was given a felony dui despite not blowing twice the legal limit.
4. Anywhere in the USA, once you reach the age that all of your friends have children, whether they were ready for them or not, you will be asked at least once a week by someone when you are going to have children. The women with children are praised for the cutesy, inane things their children do.
5. In Arizona, you get the good spot on the bus. People without small children are asked to stand when seats run low.
6. When I go out and party have fun with my friends, I am not growing up fast enough, not setting my priorities straight, or not preparing for my future. When a mother goes out for cocktails with her girlfriends, she deserves a day away from the kids.
I am sure there are a million others, but I am getting to heated about the whole ordeal to continue. Basically, what is so special about having a child that makes you far superior to everyday folk? You deserve respect and have a hard job. You aren't a god damn rock star. I could squeeze a life form out of my vagina without thinking about the consequences as well, it doesn't make me special - it just means I have female anatomy.
I feel like there is some prejudice against women who want to enjoy being women (girls?) for a while longer.
I will leave you with some things Patton Oswalt said (paraphrased of course):
"All of my friends are either having babies or getting sober. They are equally annoying....."
"What about people like me that have learned to control their drinking and aren't polluting the planet with kids? Don't I get something?"
" All these people are like 'I decided to get sober', and everyone is like 'hey, let's give you a parade'. These other people are like 'I decided to squirt out a baby', everyone is like 'hey, let's burn your name on the surface of the Moon'. I learned how to stop at two scotches and I don't have any miniature versions of myself ruining the planet and everyone is like 'eh, whatever'. WHAT, WHAT, I'm ten times better than both those guys."
Friday, June 4, 2010
Definition....
So, I have been thinking about the word define lately.
Webster says define is a verb that does the following things: to state or set forth the meaning of, to explain or identify the nature or essential qualities of, to fix or lay down definitely; specify distinctly, to determine or fix the boundaries or extent of, to make clear the outline or form of. Now, after that brief English lesson, I will talk about what really has been on my mind.
I was thinking of all things that can and "do" define us. Personality traits, actions, speech, words, patriotism, heritage, religion, appearance, social standing, abnormalities, idiosyncrasies, career, family, and many other things, or the lack thereof, are all used to define people as who they are or will become or will never be. However, does it really mean anything at all? I have become to believe that it truly does not. I would like to think I have never defined someone on these particular things and let it shape how I feel about them. I cannot confidently say that I have not, but I do try to remain as nonjudgmental as possible. Alas, I am only human as they say and full of err.
With all this consideration of definitions, I began to think about the things I have done in my lifetime which probably have given people no true perspective as to who I feel that I am or how people see me today. I mean, to be fair, I once told an ex-boyfriend that if he didn't listen to me and we weren't getting back together I was going to throw myself from an overpass. I don't think many people today would ever envision me saying or doing such a thing, and, for honesty's sake, even at that time I had no intention of actually removing myself from this earth via my face meeting the freeway or any other alternate form of self eradication. I did however feel desperate, and desperate times, as they say, are full of desperate measures.
For the record, I don't condone self harm to make others see your point. I'd like to say especially because it does not work. The guy only thinks I am a whack job that he is better off without, or I feel confident he feels that way, at least. To continue on the crazy train, I also, technically, tried to run my best friend over with a vehicle. I wasn't actually going to hurt her, but it seemed like the thing to do at the time. Luckily, she forgave me after some time; and most people have forgotten the incident. I don't think this makes me a dangerous person or even violent person. I don't condone trying to run people over or harming your friends.
I also stole bread, ham, and cheese from a convenience store chain once. I needed to eat, and we were poor. I don't think this makes me a thief, and I don't support stealing. I know thou shalt not steal, but thou didn't really have any options. I'd like to think I am forgiven for that considering all the charitable donations I have made since then, and the prayers that have followed.
I once drank too much, and entirely too often. I went to Alcoholics Anonymous for almost a year. I stayed sober for 8 of those months. I don't think this makes me a drunk or wino or alcoholic. I think it means I am person who has many problems and an addictive nature. I don't condone drinking or other substance abuse as a way to escape life and your problems.
I am guilty of letting my hair and dress code be my main priority while also having a tank top addiction. I don't think this makes me vain, or just the fat girl trying to expose her better qualities. I think it shows a woman who needed to feel safe and comfortable and pretty.
I have a huge long list of confessions, but the point I suppose I am trying to accomplish is that certain circumstances make people act unlike themselves. Lots of factors can be involved, but does this really constitute me being the "crazy", or the "bitch", or the "law breaker", or the "alchy" or the "fat girl with cute hair". I think not. And if I think this for myself, then I have to apply it to others. Everyone deserves multiple chances I suppose. I mean, people can and do often change. Not only do they change, but sometimes they were there all along hidden by bad reactions to bad circumstances. I think mankind needs to be a little more patient with its fellow humans.
All of this leads into thinking about how people go out of their way to NOT be defined as something. For example, punk or alternative people who go to the extreme to not conform. Well, despite the fact that they all just conformed to non-conformity, should not something be said about the fact that they typically have a distaste for people who feel defined by their polo shirts and dress pants? Don't they engulf themselves in definition by going out of their way to not be defined as something else. What about the anti-girl or anti-boy? People needing so badly not to be judged purely on the definition of their gender. However, when they go to the extreme to express their inner identification, don't they just absorb into everything they didn't want in the first place?
I guess what I am trying to say with this is that when we work so terribly hard, as a lot of us do, to not be judged by this or that we typically only give in to the very thing we fear - definition or incorrect definition.
I think as long as you are comfortable with what and who you are that we shouldn't get so caught up on what other people say or do to define us. Don't let their comments or judgments hinder us. Also, we shouldn't be so afraid or self righteous to not try new or different things from our own personal norms just because they may re-define who we are or are not. Be open to new things, new experiences, new styles, new music, new ideals, and new...well, stuff!
There are so many dimensions to us as people. So very many. You can't get all caught up in just one of them because it is safe or because you are afraid. You are who you are. And you do change. For better and for worse. I think people who focus to hard on definitions or lack of definitions are doing themselves a huge disservice.
I think I will let Tyler Durden sum this up for me:
You're not your job. You're not how much money you have in the bank. You're not the car you drive. You're not the contents of your wallet. You're not your fucking khakis.
The things you own end up owning you.
It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything.
Webster says define is a verb that does the following things: to state or set forth the meaning of, to explain or identify the nature or essential qualities of, to fix or lay down definitely; specify distinctly, to determine or fix the boundaries or extent of, to make clear the outline or form of. Now, after that brief English lesson, I will talk about what really has been on my mind.
I was thinking of all things that can and "do" define us. Personality traits, actions, speech, words, patriotism, heritage, religion, appearance, social standing, abnormalities, idiosyncrasies, career, family, and many other things, or the lack thereof, are all used to define people as who they are or will become or will never be. However, does it really mean anything at all? I have become to believe that it truly does not. I would like to think I have never defined someone on these particular things and let it shape how I feel about them. I cannot confidently say that I have not, but I do try to remain as nonjudgmental as possible. Alas, I am only human as they say and full of err.
With all this consideration of definitions, I began to think about the things I have done in my lifetime which probably have given people no true perspective as to who I feel that I am or how people see me today. I mean, to be fair, I once told an ex-boyfriend that if he didn't listen to me and we weren't getting back together I was going to throw myself from an overpass. I don't think many people today would ever envision me saying or doing such a thing, and, for honesty's sake, even at that time I had no intention of actually removing myself from this earth via my face meeting the freeway or any other alternate form of self eradication. I did however feel desperate, and desperate times, as they say, are full of desperate measures.
For the record, I don't condone self harm to make others see your point. I'd like to say especially because it does not work. The guy only thinks I am a whack job that he is better off without, or I feel confident he feels that way, at least. To continue on the crazy train, I also, technically, tried to run my best friend over with a vehicle. I wasn't actually going to hurt her, but it seemed like the thing to do at the time. Luckily, she forgave me after some time; and most people have forgotten the incident. I don't think this makes me a dangerous person or even violent person. I don't condone trying to run people over or harming your friends.
I also stole bread, ham, and cheese from a convenience store chain once. I needed to eat, and we were poor. I don't think this makes me a thief, and I don't support stealing. I know thou shalt not steal, but thou didn't really have any options. I'd like to think I am forgiven for that considering all the charitable donations I have made since then, and the prayers that have followed.
I once drank too much, and entirely too often. I went to Alcoholics Anonymous for almost a year. I stayed sober for 8 of those months. I don't think this makes me a drunk or wino or alcoholic. I think it means I am person who has many problems and an addictive nature. I don't condone drinking or other substance abuse as a way to escape life and your problems.
I am guilty of letting my hair and dress code be my main priority while also having a tank top addiction. I don't think this makes me vain, or just the fat girl trying to expose her better qualities. I think it shows a woman who needed to feel safe and comfortable and pretty.
I have a huge long list of confessions, but the point I suppose I am trying to accomplish is that certain circumstances make people act unlike themselves. Lots of factors can be involved, but does this really constitute me being the "crazy", or the "bitch", or the "law breaker", or the "alchy" or the "fat girl with cute hair". I think not. And if I think this for myself, then I have to apply it to others. Everyone deserves multiple chances I suppose. I mean, people can and do often change. Not only do they change, but sometimes they were there all along hidden by bad reactions to bad circumstances. I think mankind needs to be a little more patient with its fellow humans.
All of this leads into thinking about how people go out of their way to NOT be defined as something. For example, punk or alternative people who go to the extreme to not conform. Well, despite the fact that they all just conformed to non-conformity, should not something be said about the fact that they typically have a distaste for people who feel defined by their polo shirts and dress pants? Don't they engulf themselves in definition by going out of their way to not be defined as something else. What about the anti-girl or anti-boy? People needing so badly not to be judged purely on the definition of their gender. However, when they go to the extreme to express their inner identification, don't they just absorb into everything they didn't want in the first place?
I guess what I am trying to say with this is that when we work so terribly hard, as a lot of us do, to not be judged by this or that we typically only give in to the very thing we fear - definition or incorrect definition.
I think as long as you are comfortable with what and who you are that we shouldn't get so caught up on what other people say or do to define us. Don't let their comments or judgments hinder us. Also, we shouldn't be so afraid or self righteous to not try new or different things from our own personal norms just because they may re-define who we are or are not. Be open to new things, new experiences, new styles, new music, new ideals, and new...well, stuff!
There are so many dimensions to us as people. So very many. You can't get all caught up in just one of them because it is safe or because you are afraid. You are who you are. And you do change. For better and for worse. I think people who focus to hard on definitions or lack of definitions are doing themselves a huge disservice.
I think I will let Tyler Durden sum this up for me:
You're not your job. You're not how much money you have in the bank. You're not the car you drive. You're not the contents of your wallet. You're not your fucking khakis.
The things you own end up owning you.
It's only after we've lost everything that we're free to do anything.
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Resident Evil 5 and Islam Girls
So, this week has been pretty unproductive thus far.
We did have a great Lost finale party, but I will discuss that in a later post.
I'd like to cover two things in this hopefully short but sweet post.
Resident Evil 5 and Islam girls in the grocery store.
Numero Uno - Resident Fucking Evil 5!
More to the point, RE5 and how it bowed to me and Clane. Wesker never even saw this duo coming. I have been playing Chris Redfield the entire game, and I must say...I make Chris look great. I let the husband have Sheva. At least he had some boobies to look at while we decimated the las plagas and saved the world from Wesker's Uroboros. I must say, unlocking Warrior and Heavy Metal Chris made me need to excuse myself for a few moments. I am eager to take my chain gun and wear my Warrior outfit and go Mad Max on some mutant zombie people. The husband of course placed Sheva in her almight Fairy Tale costume. It is pretty much the hottest outfit in the game, and I am finding it hard not to up skirt her all the time. I can't wait to finishing unlocking our favorite weapons unlimited ammunition! The only downside was the moment it became apparent Jill Valentine was "alive" somewhere was the moment I told Clane she was the masked bad ass we kept seeing in shadowy flashes. He refused to admit anything, but that only convinced me I just ruined part of the storyline for myself early in the game.
Numero Dos - Islam Girls in the Grocery store
I saw the most beautiful pair of women last night in the grocery. It was an Islamic woman and her daughter. The older woman was dressed very traditionally while carrying her Nine West wallet and produce. The younger girl had on a gorgeous head wrap, but underneath she wore a t-shirt, jeans, and flip flops. She couldn't have been more than fourteen or fifteen. Her feet shuffled and tapped to Billy Joel on the overhead audio system inside the store. It was quite possibly one of the most adorable and uplifting experiences I have had in a while. Seeing someone holding on to and passing along their culture while embracing certain American traits was awesome. It gives me hope that everyone can exist peacefully.
We did have a great Lost finale party, but I will discuss that in a later post.
I'd like to cover two things in this hopefully short but sweet post.
Resident Evil 5 and Islam girls in the grocery store.
Numero Uno - Resident Fucking Evil 5!
More to the point, RE5 and how it bowed to me and Clane. Wesker never even saw this duo coming. I have been playing Chris Redfield the entire game, and I must say...I make Chris look great. I let the husband have Sheva. At least he had some boobies to look at while we decimated the las plagas and saved the world from Wesker's Uroboros. I must say, unlocking Warrior and Heavy Metal Chris made me need to excuse myself for a few moments. I am eager to take my chain gun and wear my Warrior outfit and go Mad Max on some mutant zombie people. The husband of course placed Sheva in her almight Fairy Tale costume. It is pretty much the hottest outfit in the game, and I am finding it hard not to up skirt her all the time. I can't wait to finishing unlocking our favorite weapons unlimited ammunition! The only downside was the moment it became apparent Jill Valentine was "alive" somewhere was the moment I told Clane she was the masked bad ass we kept seeing in shadowy flashes. He refused to admit anything, but that only convinced me I just ruined part of the storyline for myself early in the game.
Numero Dos - Islam Girls in the Grocery store
I saw the most beautiful pair of women last night in the grocery. It was an Islamic woman and her daughter. The older woman was dressed very traditionally while carrying her Nine West wallet and produce. The younger girl had on a gorgeous head wrap, but underneath she wore a t-shirt, jeans, and flip flops. She couldn't have been more than fourteen or fifteen. Her feet shuffled and tapped to Billy Joel on the overhead audio system inside the store. It was quite possibly one of the most adorable and uplifting experiences I have had in a while. Seeing someone holding on to and passing along their culture while embracing certain American traits was awesome. It gives me hope that everyone can exist peacefully.
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Hypochondria
I has it. Not only do I have it, but it has been acting up pretty bad lately.
I realize, like most everyone on the planet, I need to take much better care of my body. It has been thoroughly abused the last 27 years, and needs some tender, love, and care.
With that said, the things going through my mind are crazy. I am pretty sure I am going to give myself some sort of disease just by worrying about it. Everyone tells me it is okay, but to someone like me it just seems like they are afraid to admit the truth. In my mind, 99% of people are afraid to admit that something horrible can happen to themselves or the loved ones. I am the 1%.
This last few weeks it has been liver failure or cirrhosis. I've had this red spot on my lower abdomen / stomach for a while now. I go back and forth thinking it is no big deal. I don't go to the doctor for fear it is something terminal or that I will need surgery or risky drugs. Instead, I stare at WebMD and worry about it. Well, the skin at the red spot seemed to have a different texture than the rest of my skin and was not soft. So, I began to put lotion on it. That seemed to help at first. Now tonight I am sitting here on the couch on my laptop, and it is itching like crazy. Not only is it itching, but it is spreading. Now there is the major red spot, but around it are these splotchy, itching red spots. They look pretty terrible, and have me worried.
I am going to quit drinking, eat right, and stop smoking. I can't take this anymore. God help me.
I realize, like most everyone on the planet, I need to take much better care of my body. It has been thoroughly abused the last 27 years, and needs some tender, love, and care.
With that said, the things going through my mind are crazy. I am pretty sure I am going to give myself some sort of disease just by worrying about it. Everyone tells me it is okay, but to someone like me it just seems like they are afraid to admit the truth. In my mind, 99% of people are afraid to admit that something horrible can happen to themselves or the loved ones. I am the 1%.
This last few weeks it has been liver failure or cirrhosis. I've had this red spot on my lower abdomen / stomach for a while now. I go back and forth thinking it is no big deal. I don't go to the doctor for fear it is something terminal or that I will need surgery or risky drugs. Instead, I stare at WebMD and worry about it. Well, the skin at the red spot seemed to have a different texture than the rest of my skin and was not soft. So, I began to put lotion on it. That seemed to help at first. Now tonight I am sitting here on the couch on my laptop, and it is itching like crazy. Not only is it itching, but it is spreading. Now there is the major red spot, but around it are these splotchy, itching red spots. They look pretty terrible, and have me worried.
I am going to quit drinking, eat right, and stop smoking. I can't take this anymore. God help me.
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Midnight Release - Red Dead Redemption
So, Monday night, after Steve's pre-Birthday outing to watch the Phoenix Suns get owned by the Lakers, I decided to surprise Clane by picking up the new game Red Dead Redemption at the Midnight release at Gamestop. I must say it was quite the experience.
I arrived at 11:49, and parked. There was already a line out the door waiting, and there were people in their cars playing music. You could tell the "cool" gamers because they were blasting Disturbed and Jay-Z while the guys who had earned their true Nerd titles were playing techno remixes of their favorite video game themes. I approached the line cautiously, and I felt I was definitely invading in on some secret Gentleman's Club. I stood behind some kids, one wearing a "Seniors 2010" shirt, and decided I would not feel old and ridiculous. Instead, I would attempt to feel like a nice aged wine or cheese. I would be a gamer with experience and refinement.
I looked ahead in line, eavesdropping on conversations. I found a girl with her boyfriend, looking clearly uninterested in the happenings of the night. There was a girl behind me, and I still haven't decided if she was there for herself. A guy had dropped her off at the end of the line, and then pulled away. He didn't wait for her, but I assume he did come back to retrieve her. So I am left to wonder if she is the gamer or if he had something more important to do and left his girlfriend to pick up his game. Regardless, THREE women standing in line at the game store surrounded by approximately 50 men and boys of all ages. It was a sad day for girl gamers across the world in my opinion. We had zero representation.
I also was able to find a group of guys that ONLY know each other from Midnight releases of various games. They met during the Halo 2 release, and see each other at every major title that followed it. It was strange, but somewhat adorable. I heard a few other guys who had only been up since 6p.m. because they had stayed up until 8a.m. playing Call of Duty. Eventually the kids in front of me asked me what game I was there for; I think I did win some points by saying it was Red Dead Redemption instead of the latest Harry Potter Lego game. Allin all, it was a cute and interesting situation. I feel like I got an inside view of the life of obsessive and younger gamers.
I arrived at 11:49, and parked. There was already a line out the door waiting, and there were people in their cars playing music. You could tell the "cool" gamers because they were blasting Disturbed and Jay-Z while the guys who had earned their true Nerd titles were playing techno remixes of their favorite video game themes. I approached the line cautiously, and I felt I was definitely invading in on some secret Gentleman's Club. I stood behind some kids, one wearing a "Seniors 2010" shirt, and decided I would not feel old and ridiculous. Instead, I would attempt to feel like a nice aged wine or cheese. I would be a gamer with experience and refinement.
I looked ahead in line, eavesdropping on conversations. I found a girl with her boyfriend, looking clearly uninterested in the happenings of the night. There was a girl behind me, and I still haven't decided if she was there for herself. A guy had dropped her off at the end of the line, and then pulled away. He didn't wait for her, but I assume he did come back to retrieve her. So I am left to wonder if she is the gamer or if he had something more important to do and left his girlfriend to pick up his game. Regardless, THREE women standing in line at the game store surrounded by approximately 50 men and boys of all ages. It was a sad day for girl gamers across the world in my opinion. We had zero representation.
I also was able to find a group of guys that ONLY know each other from Midnight releases of various games. They met during the Halo 2 release, and see each other at every major title that followed it. It was strange, but somewhat adorable. I heard a few other guys who had only been up since 6p.m. because they had stayed up until 8a.m. playing Call of Duty. Eventually the kids in front of me asked me what game I was there for; I think I did win some points by saying it was Red Dead Redemption instead of the latest Harry Potter Lego game. Allin all, it was a cute and interesting situation. I feel like I got an inside view of the life of obsessive and younger gamers.
Saturday, May 15, 2010
A Ho Hum day like all these days...
Things have been busy, yet unproductive. I feel like I have been doing a great many things, and I have completely accomplished none. We did get a new puppy, at least for now. His name is Shogun and he is a brindle American Bull Terrier. He is incredibly smart and very loving and sweet. He is also this HUGE ball of energy that goes 190 to nothing while playing and has a nasty habit of biting too hard. We definitely love him, and I pray we are up to the challenge of controlling him and making him a very happy, productive adult dog.
I am sounding just as bad as those family blogs I find myself complaining of more often than not. I suppose I should move on to other things....oh WAIT, that's right. I am being completely dull currently.
Highlights of my week:
Taking both dogs to the vet.
Cleaning.
Using super glue on antiques from my grandmother's estate so I can pretend they are a whole.
Inevitably super gluing my middle finger to my pointer finger on my left hand for upwards of ten minutes before being brave enough to pull them apart.
Playing Resident Evil 5.
Playing Trash Panic.
Playing Treasure Isle.
Drinking too much at poker on Tuesday, and hopelessly losing at it all night.
Admiring the china cabinet that was previously owned by Katherine but now looks beautiful in my living area.
Beginning to watch through "The Office" for the first time, ever - watching the pilot as I write this blog.
Watching "Blade Runner" for the first time, ever. It is amazing.
So yea, I am totally exciting and living the life right now. So you can see why I have been blogging so much.
Lastly, I would like to say that "Blade Runner" is far superior to most other sci-fi that we were mercilessly subject to around that time frame, and some before it and after it. It is quite seamless actually. Loved it.
** BE SURE TO CLICK MY HIGHLY AWESOME AND CLEVER LINKS D-BAGS! <3 <3 **
P.S. If you right click it and open in a new tab, you won't miss a beat of my great blogging skillz while clicking the links.
I am sounding just as bad as those family blogs I find myself complaining of more often than not. I suppose I should move on to other things....oh WAIT, that's right. I am being completely dull currently.
Highlights of my week:
Taking both dogs to the vet.
Cleaning.
Using super glue on antiques from my grandmother's estate so I can pretend they are a whole.
Inevitably super gluing my middle finger to my pointer finger on my left hand for upwards of ten minutes before being brave enough to pull them apart.
Playing Resident Evil 5.
Playing Trash Panic.
Playing Treasure Isle.
Drinking too much at poker on Tuesday, and hopelessly losing at it all night.
Admiring the china cabinet that was previously owned by Katherine but now looks beautiful in my living area.
Beginning to watch through "The Office" for the first time, ever - watching the pilot as I write this blog.
Watching "Blade Runner" for the first time, ever. It is amazing.
So yea, I am totally exciting and living the life right now. So you can see why I have been blogging so much.
Lastly, I would like to say that "Blade Runner" is far superior to most other sci-fi that we were mercilessly subject to around that time frame, and some before it and after it. It is quite seamless actually. Loved it.
** BE SURE TO CLICK MY HIGHLY AWESOME AND CLEVER LINKS D-BAGS! <3 <3 **
P.S. If you right click it and open in a new tab, you won't miss a beat of my great blogging skillz while clicking the links.
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