I am 27 years old. I have found that I have beat my biological clock into submission, at least temporarily. When I was 18, I became pregnant and moved to Arizona with my then boyfriend (now husband of 6 years). I was dead set on having this baby and starting a family with him. After much turmoil, it all ended in a miscarriage. A few years later when I was 22, I found myself pregnant again. This time I made the choice to terminate because of the circumstances occurring in my life. Now, as I said, I'm 27 and have found that I am in no hurry to bring children into a world of conflict filled with troubles, disease, and poverty. I'm also too selfish at this point in life, and I am just enjoying the thought of experiencing a hundred different things with my husband before devoting our lives to a young child. I've also decided that I'd really love to adopt and/or foster many children once we have settled down and have the means. I suppose I needed to explain that before I make the following comments. Perhaps it will help others visualize where I am coming from when I say..........Using children to get ahead in life, in any way whatsoever, is BULLSHIT! (Thanks Penn & Teller ... by the way Mr. Penn and Mr. Teller...you should consider this for an episode.)
It has become apparent to me in life that I am denied many simple rights, and luxuries, in life because I have decided to put off having children. Now, I mean no disrespect to mothers or fathers. They definitely do have one of the hardest jobs known to man. However, I don't think that something that is so basic and primal and necessary in life - like procreation - should come with so many social and financial perks. Shouldn't people be having children because they desire them, can afford them, are responsible, and prepared to devote all of themselves to nurture these small beings? It has become obvious to me that this isn't necessarily the case. I'd like to cite some examples:
1. In Arizona, if your household income is the same as mine you are not impoverished - despite the fact that you can't afford anything. If you make almost one thousand dollars more per month than myself and have a child, then you are extensively impoverished.
2. In Arizona, if you are pregnant or have a child and are impoverished by definition of the state, you easily receive state benefits such as food stamps, cash assistance, health care, and WIC.
Despite being poor and unemployed, I am not available for any of these benefits unless I bring a child into an already poor household.
3. In Arizona, if you wreck your car and smell of beer and cry to the cop about being a single mother, you get a 75 dollar speeding ticket. Despite also crying and explaining why this could ruin my life, when I was pulled over for a minor traffic violation involving the registration sticker when the officer smelled alcohol I was given a felony dui despite not blowing twice the legal limit.
4. Anywhere in the USA, once you reach the age that all of your friends have children, whether they were ready for them or not, you will be asked at least once a week by someone when you are going to have children. The women with children are praised for the cutesy, inane things their children do.
5. In Arizona, you get the good spot on the bus. People without small children are asked to stand when seats run low.
6. When I go out and party have fun with my friends, I am not growing up fast enough, not setting my priorities straight, or not preparing for my future. When a mother goes out for cocktails with her girlfriends, she deserves a day away from the kids.
I am sure there are a million others, but I am getting to heated about the whole ordeal to continue. Basically, what is so special about having a child that makes you far superior to everyday folk? You deserve respect and have a hard job. You aren't a god damn rock star. I could squeeze a life form out of my vagina without thinking about the consequences as well, it doesn't make me special - it just means I have female anatomy.
I feel like there is some prejudice against women who want to enjoy being women (girls?) for a while longer.
I will leave you with some things Patton Oswalt said (paraphrased of course):
"All of my friends are either having babies or getting sober. They are equally annoying....."
"What about people like me that have learned to control their drinking and aren't polluting the planet with kids? Don't I get something?"
" All these people are like 'I decided to get sober', and everyone is like 'hey, let's give you a parade'. These other people are like 'I decided to squirt out a baby', everyone is like 'hey, let's burn your name on the surface of the Moon'. I learned how to stop at two scotches and I don't have any miniature versions of myself ruining the planet and everyone is like 'eh, whatever'. WHAT, WHAT, I'm ten times better than both those guys."
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